growth. i knew the word but didn't know what it meant. i was grown. done. mature. when i thought of movies, stories i wanted to tell - i could not manage character development. it was alien. instead there was just being - just events - just existence. but - somewhere somewhy somehow something is different. and. i. guess. love. lead. me. to. it. (i am more comfortable with the periods.) the conclusion is i haven't been able to acknowledge my father's abandonment (i was 8 when my parents divorced) and identify myself as a worthwhile person. so - i have broken lots (sigh! - no wonder i love Elizabeth Bishop's One Art ) of good things along the way to preserve this broken thing. but finally i am not abraham . i have sacrificed many other lives - and myself - but i can't kill my children . my love for them - meaning i want to manufacture the best possible gene delivery systems - has lead me to open doors i haven't wanted to open for 30 years. my life. tainter's w...
following joseph tainter, vaclav smil, ronald wright, jared diamond, peter turchin and niko tinbergen Failure is the best option